Water Damage
Extraction, drying, dehumidifying. Industrial fans running round the clock in your living room.
The fans sound like a jet that's mad at you. You will learn to sleep through it, or you won't.
Basement full of water? Kitchen full of smoke? Uh-oh.
We'll fix your house. We won't pretend you'll enjoy it.
Most restoration companies hide the ugly truth behind a nice logo. We put the ugly truth right in the logo. Water, fire, smoke, mold, storms — 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 0 hours of sugarcoating.
☎ (516) 475-4602 Call Now!**Dave answers. Dave will sound like you woke him up. You did.
That's not us. That's a heating and air conditioning company, and also a comedy sketch. But we watched it, we felt seen, and we're flattered. Different Upfront. Same energy.
Video: Saturday Night Live / NBC. Watch the original on YouTube. Upfront Restoration is a fictional parody and is not affiliated with, sponsored by or endorsed by SNL or NBC.
Six things we're licensed to do, and the honest footnote that goes with each one.
Extraction, drying, dehumidifying. Industrial fans running round the clock in your living room.
The fans sound like a jet that's mad at you. You will learn to sleep through it, or you won't.
Soot removal, deodorizing, structural cleanup and contents cleaning.
Your couch will smell like a campfire for a while. Some customers say they kind of like it. Those customers concern us.
Containment, removal, HEPA air scrubbing and prevention.
We will find more mold than you wanted. We always do. We'll make the same face every time.
Roof tarping, tree debris, flooding, siding and window damage.
During storm season we're busy. "First come, first served" really means "loudest caller, first served."
Plywood over broken windows and doors to keep your home secure.
It will look like your house is in witness protection. It is temporary. Mostly.
Real humans on the phone at 3 a.m. on a holiday.
Real, but not cheerful. Cheerful is a business-hours feature.
Other companies hide things in the fine print. We put the fine print in 40-point font and read it to you slowly.
It all started in 1994 when Big Ron's basement flooded and he dried it out himself with three box fans and sheer stubbornness. It took a month. The neighbors asked for help. Ron charged them. A business was born.
Today Ron is "semi-retired," which means he shows up unannounced and tells the crew they're doing it wrong. His wife Denise runs the office, the books, and frankly Ron. Their son Dave runs the trucks. Dave played two seasons of junior college baseball and still brings it up on job sites, usually while holding a shop vac.
Our values: Honesty. Hard work. And never, ever letting Ron near the moisture meter again.
*Fictional. Like this whole company. But spiritually real.
★★★★★"My basement was a swimming pool. Now it's a basement again. The crew called my cat 'Chief' for nine days. The cat responds to Chief now."
★★★★☆"They were upfront that it would be a nightmare. It was a nightmare. But it was a nightmare I was warned about, and honestly that's all I want from anybody."
★★★★★"Fire took the kitchen. Upfront gave it back. One guy cried when he saw my grandmother's recipe box survived. Then he asked if he could have the meatloaf one. I said yes."
★★★☆☆"Great work. I would like to know why there is a folding chair in my backyard that none of us own and no one will take."
Proudly serving Long Island, NY — all 13 towns, Nassau and Suffolk. We will not tell you which county is better. We will tell you which bagel place is better. Then we'll argue about it in your driveway.
East End? We'll still come. We'll just mention the drive. Several times. Usually from the Riverhead traffic circle. See every Long Island town we serve →
Tell us what happened. We'll tell you what it'll cost, then we'll tell you what it'll actually cost.
Your request has been received by absolutely no one, because this is a fictional company. If this were real, Denise would call you within the hour, and Dave would show up within "the hour-ish."
Fast. Not "superhero" fast. "Guy who was already in the truck eating a sandwich" fast.
Yes. We work with insurance the way a cat works with a bath: technically, and with a lot of noise.
Yes. Better than normal, usually. The part in between is the part we're being upfront about.
You can. Whether you'll want to after hearing the fans and the crew's playlist is a separate question.
Nassau to Montauk, North Shore to South Shore. Shelter Island too — we take the ferry and we don't complain. Much. Find your town.
Storm of 2017. Dave insists it adds character. Denise insists it adds a deductible.
No. Upfront Restoration is a fictional parody. Please do call a real, licensed restoration pro if your basement is actually flooded.